|Fucking retarded programmers.|
FUCK RETARDED GAMES
LIMITED CONTINUES IN AN ARCADE GAME: Bad enough the game is set up to kill you every 5 seconds, but this is fucking ridiculous. The whole point of arcade games is to earn money. Logic would dictate that allowing the player to continue endlessly would encourage the player to shovel more money into the machine. Not in the case of HAUNTED CASTLE, to name one offender. Fucking Konami. If it weren't for Gradius and TMNT, they'd be worthless. SNK is guilty of an even worse variation of this sin. You can continue all you want..... until you get to the last boss. Fuck you, SNK. NAM '75 was pretty fun, minus the "dying every time you stopped running your ass off to shoot at something" part.
BOTTOMLESS PITS/SPIKES/LAVA: There are no bottomless pits in reality. I'll believe a robot can lay waste to an evil genius' 8 robot masters and use their weapons after doing so. I'll believe a fatass Italian and his skinny brother can battle evil turtles in an alternate universe. Just don't shovel this shit about bottomless holes to me. You'd THINK the character you're playing as could just walk around, but no. Spikes. Right. Destroy them! Put something on top of them! SOMETHING!
PLATFORM JUMPING: Oh boy, yet another waste of time. TOMB RAIDER was hell with this game clichE but at least you could -walk- through the spike in that game without dying. Still, why in the hell would someone think it's fun to jump back and forth from hanging ledges that are apparently placed throughout the area haphazardly.
AUTOSCROLLING: Let me get through the level on my own, damnit. I don't need pushing.
AUTOSCROLLING BOTTOMLESS PIT PLATFORM JUMPING: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, CAPCOM! Yes, YOU! Are you fucking retarded? Anyone who's played Rockman and Forte, or Megaman 8 knows exactly what I mean. Hackneyed is the only appropriate description for this completely unnecessary gaming convention.
INSTA-DROWN BRAND WATER*: I'm beginning to think it's not water at all, but liquid chlorine. You die the instant you touch water in most games. Why? It only covers MOST OF THE PLANET. Double Dragon, River City Ransom, Ninja Gaiden. All legendary games, but the instant you get in over your ankles, you're pushing up water lilies.
*Thanks to Prime Op over at Scrollboss for reminding me of this particular instance of gaming bullshit.